The Derby Post

Since I have been skating for about a month, I figured I had better break down and write about derby. I have pictures of all my wicked bruises, but I will save that for a later date.
My high school friend, Vicki, has been skating with the Reno Roller Girls for quite some time. I was uber-jealous. Like seething really. Love her that I do, I thought there's no way that skinny waif can do derby. Seriously, she shops in the kid section for crying out loud. We're talking 100 pounds, maybe, like on Thanksgiving after she's eaten the entire bowl of mashed potatoes. So when I was virtually attacked at one of her bouts by the Plumas Mudslingers who do derby near me, I was stoked.
And then reality kicked in. Wait, I thought, I can't do this. I have school. I have kids, four of them. My husband is not here for two weeks at a time. I have no one to babysit for those two nights a week. And oh yeah, never really worn a pair of skates. Like ever. Never did those team sport activity things. I was too busy getting high behind the drama theatre with my friends. In truth, I was a pretty self-secluded teenager. You know, emo before they had a name for it.
But, oh, I really love this game. It's beautiful, like poetry in motion. I know that's very cliche, but it's true. Watching derby is akin to that same feeling I used to have as a little kid when I would watch Michael Jackson dance. I wanna do that. Please, please, lemme do that. Derby's the only sport I have ever watched and thought that about. Again, like ever. It's eventual, absolutely eventual. You can say whatever you like about Michael.
So, I bought a pair of skates from Vic for $40 and went to a practice. Ohmigosh, what they must have thought of me. No gear, my skates had no toe stops, and the only reason I never fell on my ass was that God liked me that day. It was pathetic. Then we upgraded to toe stops and crap gear and I fell on my ass every two seconds. I bring all my kids to practice when Jeff's not here, I play sick, I play tired, I play sore. Friday, I got two skates to the ribs and a skate to the kneecap and when Shane, the assistant coach, said I was done skating, I actually bawled. I really love this game.
Our first bout is on this Friday, the 23rd. With the exception of my leg being amputated, I will be there, skating. Even if it got amputated, I would still be there skating. Welcome, friends, to my new obsession.

Oh, alright, here's my bruise.

Isn't she lovely.


Mum said...

And that's only one of them. Try the whole left leg from hip to ankle.

Mrs Smith said...

Owie!!! You gotta get video of your first game. I so wanna see! I wish I could do derby. :-)

MandB said...


VickeyMichelle said...

Dood therre are websites devoted entirely to derby bruises! I can't wait for Friday!!!

wendy said...

I am so excited about your post here and very excited to have you on our team! you have improved so much in the short ammount of time you have been with us! Im a proud coach!